I've got your number
by ForPony39
Summary: Hook has Emma's number. Literally he has it in his new phone, a text fic where hook harass's Emma with flirty texts.
1. Chapter 1

Sexypirate: Testing, testing 1,2

Emma: This had better not be who I think it is.

Sexypirate: Oh this is fantastic, we really need these "cell phones" in my world

Emma: Hook how did you get this number? Who even taught you how to text?

Sexypirate: I could tell u but what fun would that B?

Emma: You saved your number in my phone? When and how did you get my phone?!

Sexypirate: When - yesterday, How - Magic hand

Emma: and Sexy pirate? Seriously?

Sexypirate: Well it is my burden 2 carry …

Emma: Ignoring you now.

Sexypirate: Oh come now swan, don't quit the game so quickly

Sexypirate: Think u can ignore me forever do u love?

Sexypirate: Challenge accepted.

Sexypirate: Emma

Sexypirate: Emma

Sexypirate: Emma

Sexypirate: Emma

Sexypirate: Emma

Sexypirate: Emma

Sexypirate: Swan

Sexypirate: Swan

Sexypirate: Swan

Sexypirate: I know u think I'll stop eventually but I won't, I love a challenge.

Sexypirate: Have a heart lass, it's hard 2 "text" 1 handed

Sexypirate: That jacket doesn't look very warm love.

Sexypirate: Don't bother looking around ur not going 2 see me

Emma: Where the hell are you?

Sexypirate: Oh there u are, I thought u were ignoring me?

Emma: Hook I swear to God

Sexypirate: Ur cute when ur mad

Emma: Just wait, I'm about to get fucking adorable

Sexypirate: Language Swan. There's this thing in ur world I want 2 try called ice cream, u should have some with me.

Emma: No. Where are you watching me from?

Sexypirate: If u agree 2 ice cream with me I'll tell u.

Emma: Hahahahano. No, never, not a chance.

Sexypirate: Fine. I'll just keep my eye on u then.

Sexypirate: U should let ur hair out of that ponytail

Emma: Omg, go away!

Sexypirate: Not sure what omg means but no, never, not a chance.

Sexypirate: Since ur out for a walk - stop trying 2 lose me it's not working - perhaps I can join u?

Emma: Hook, if I see you I'm going to shoot you

Sexypirate: How inhospitable of u. I think instead we should do something together, how about tonight?

Emma: How about never? Is never good for you?

Sexypirate: I might have something planned by then - how about a few drinks? Or I could steal something from ur apartment, u can chase me down and arrest me - bring ur cuffs.

Sexypirate: I know how much u like those ;)

Emma: There is not enough alcohol in the world Hook.

Sexypirate: Care 2 find out? A cricket showed me a little pub down the street

Emma: You are not charming

Sexypirate: No, apparently that would be ur father

Emma: Oh you're hilarious

Sexypirate: Don't pretend u didn't laugh, I can see u, remember?

Emma: Does this "stalk them till they like me" technique work much for you?

Sexypirate: Stalk is such a negative word - I prefer chase

Emma: I'd prefer if you stopped

Sexypirate: For someone so adamant that I go away, u sure don't look in a hurry 2 lose me

Emma: Hook, you are never going to seduce me. Stop trying.

Sexypirate: Never is such a final term

Emma: it's a very final feeling

Sexypirate: Nothing in any world is truly absolute swan

Emma: Death is

Sexypirate: Ooooh, Feisty. Y don't u tell me ur plan of my murder over dinner?

Emma: I'm going in this store and turning off my phone Hook.

Sexypirate: Then I'm going over 2 ur apartment and hiding all of ur cutlery

Emma: … I honestly have no idea how to react to a threat like that

Sexypirate: Unless u want 2 B using ur hands to eat 4 the next week u should keep ur phone on so I can woo u.

Emma: jesus chr - fine. What's next Casanova, poetry?

Sexypirate: If I were to impart poetry dear Emma, it would be in the tender service I would lend to your lips.

Sexypirate: Y miss swan, is that charming blush 4 me?

Sexypirate: I hope so, that was difficult 2 type.

Sexypirate: Emma?

Sexypirate: We've established ignoring me doesn't work Emma

Sexypirate: Don't force me 2 B annoying - I'll do it

Sexypirate: ok, remember u chose this.

Sexypirate: E

Sexypirate: M

Sexypirate: M

Sexypirate: A

Sexypirate: S

Sexypirate: W

Sexypirate: A

Sexypirate: N

Sexypirate: 1 more time!

Sexypirate: E

Sexypirate: M

Sexypirate: M

Emma: I hate you

Sexypirate: Not possible love

Emma: My god, you think you can wink at women and they'll melt just cause you're a sexy pirate with gorgeous blue eyes.

Sexypirate: So u do think I'm sexy

Emma: What? No I don't! I said you think you're a sexy pirate!

Sexypirate: with gorgeous blue eyes no less…

Emma: shut up Hook! I'm warning you

Sexypirate: It's ok u don't have 2 admit it - yet

Emma: You know what Captain? You're not the only one who can be flirty and make someone blush

Sexypirate: Is that so? : )

Emma: Damn rights!

Sexypirate: Impress me

Emma: …

Sexypirate: need a minute?

Emma: Shut up

Sexypirate: wow, I'm 2 shades redder already

Emma: That's it, I'm going to arrest you

Emma: I'm going to put you in jail forever

Sexypirate: 4 flirting shamelessly? Not likely

Emma: One day I'm going to nail you for this

Sexypirate: Well if u have the time…

Emma: … Only if you've got the energy

Sexypirate: Oh, u r a bad girl swan.

Emma: Aaaaand while you were busy readingl that, I've managed to shake you.

Sexypirate: What the - where did u go?

Emma: I call that move the "flirt and bail" might change it to the "hook & bail" in honour of how you fell for it.

Sexypirate: U r 1 cheeky little lass - you'll pay for that

Emma: suuure I will, if I see you near my apartment I'm putting you in a cell - you've been warned

Sexypirate: That was actually pretty smooth love, What other moves do u have?

Emma: None that you could handle Hook

Sexypirate: If u want me 2 stop chasing u love, u really should stop issuing me such delicious challenges

Emma: Goodbye Killian

Sexypirate: For now Emma. : )


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow! I have to say I didn't expect such a positive reaction to this little fic! You guys are all just awesome, lol. It was only suppose to be a one shot but you guys made me want to make a part 2 so here it is! hope it's ok :) thanks for the support!**

Emma: I'm going to murder you

Sexypirate: Y I'm doing fantastic love, thanx for asking, how r u?

Emma: How did you get in my apartment you creep!?

Sexypirate: Creep? that's a bit harsh

Emma: You tied everything together!

Emma: The sheets, my clothes, the fucking dish rags into long lines of rope - and oh look you've arranged it to spell "call me - hook"

Emma: What could have possibly been done to you in your childhood that you would think this a logical method of getting my attention?

Sexypirate: ur a very hard women 2 get a hold of, thought I'd try something flashy.

Emma: It's going to take me an hour to untie all these you jackass

Sexypirate: this would also B the "paying" I spoke of a few days ago

Emma: Wait, how did you even tie these? You have one damn hand!

Sexypirate: And a very talented mouth ;)

Emma: If you tied any of my lingerage together your death will be a slow one Hook

Sexypirate: Y swan, I'm offended u think I'd cross such a line

Emma: I'm sorry, your right, cause you know - how many have you crossed lately?

Sexypirate: U should come out with me on the harbour.

Emma: _You_ should stay out of my apartment, cause I'm boobie-trapping it from now on

Sexypirate: I think u'd like sailing

Emma: Seriously, I'm rigging a cross-bow right now

Sexypirate: murderous little bird, aren't you?

Emma: Only with you hook

Sexypirate: I think u should channel ur frustration in2 something productive

Sexypirate: Like learning a new skill

Sexypirate: Like sailing

Sexypirate: Like sailing with me

Sexypirate: Are we playing the "ignore him" game again?

Emma: I'm untying these knots, and I don't need you to teach me to sail

Sexypirate: There r other things I could teach u…

Emma: When hell freezes over

Sexypirate: I'll send the devil a pair of skates

Emma: Go ahead, he has hooves he can't wear them

Sexypirate: Only u could reasonably argue against a quip love

Sexypirate: lets c how reasonable u can be when I sext

Emma: … what!?

Sexypirate: The doctor told me about it, sexy texts - lets c if we can raise that charming blush to your cheeks again shall we?

Emma: Hook no, for the love of God no!

Sexypirate: ur fingers say no but ur eyes say "send me dirty texts hook, do it!"

Sexypirate: Y I don't think I've ever seen such a lovely shade of red Swan

Emma: Are you watching me again!?

Sexypirate: I haven't even begun being… Seductive yet

Emma: Ha, nice try - I only have one window, its in the kitchen and the blinds are down

Sexypirate: Don't need to see u to know your blushing J

Emma: Hook, there is literally a town full of other girls who would fall over themselves for your attention.

Emma: Go "woo" them

Sexypirate: But none of them r u Swan

Sexypirate: the more I get to know you the more you convince me

Emma: of what?

Sexypirate: You're the reason men fall in love

Emma: ... Wow… that was good - how many times has that line worked?

Sexypirate: I don't know, you'd have to tell me

Sexypirate: anyways, I've already decided I'm winning you 1 way or another

Emma: Have you now?

Sexypirate: Must B a pirate thing

Sexypirate: We're dashing & charming, we steal hearts & the locals sail boats…

Emma: You stole a sail boat?

Sexypirate: Oh my, it seems I have

Emma: … nope, I can't even fake a spark of surprise

Sexypirate: And I've let it slip 2 the town sheriff no less, how clumsy of me

Emma: I'll just bet

Sexypirate: I suppose now u have 2 come 2 the marina and try 2 arrest me

Sexypirate: Try being the key word

Emma: …

Emma: Is that a dare?

Sexypirate: more a statement of fact

Sexypirate: ur good Emma, but honestly lass?

Sexypirate: I'm captain hook - need I say more?

Emma: Oh really?

Sexypirate: Most definitely

Emma: Killian?

Sexypirate: Yes love?

Emma: Start running : )


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey everyone! I changed this formula up a bit cause I really wanted to write about Emma going after Hook, so I have her telling Red, hope it's still enjoyable and that you all like it - thank you everyone for your fantastic reviews and comments! they make it hard to leave my keyboard, lol**

Red: Hey Emma, sup?

Emma: I'm a qaurter way through drinking a bottle of wine and rigging my apartment with traps - also putting my clothes in the dryer - you?

Red: Wondering what the hell kinda day u've had that would drive u 2 boobie-trap ur apartment with a buzz

Emma: Hook

Red: Suddenly all is clear, lol

Red: Heard there was an incident at the marina, care 2 share?

Emma: he stole a sail boat, owner was yelling at him from the shore

Red: I C

Emma: I tried to go after him on another boat

Red: Did u catch him?

Emma: … I don't wanna talk about it

Red: Oh come on

Emma: No

Red: I won't laugh, promise!

Emma: … I tried to board him

Red: So?

Emma: I… tried to a make a dramatic entrance by swinging from my boat to his

Emma: I… I sort of landed… on top of him

Red: …

Red: LMFAO!

Emma: Shut up! You said you wouldn't laugh

Emma: You know what it's like to fall on killian? he tried to catch me, I thought I was going to be impaled

Red: : )

Emma: By the hook ruby, Jesus

Red: Ok, ok, sorry - then what happened?

Emma: Well we sorta struggled to get untangled

Emma: Sorry, I struggled to get untangled

Emma: He laughed and knocked my arm out from under me so I'd fall back onto his chest

Emma: Twice, the bastard

Red: Did he say anything?

Emma: "climb aboard swan - If you've got the energy I've got the time"

Red: HAHA! That sauvey bastard

Emma: Then he rolled us over so he was on top of me and pinned me to the deck, our faces were like, centimeters apart

Red: O.O

Red: … so what did you do?

Emma: I punched him

Red: Emma!

Emma: What! He had it coming - why are you on his side?!

Red: I'm not! I'm just surprised u punched him

Emma: Yeah well it wasn't hard,

Emma: anyways we finally get up, I'm pulling out my cuffs and he puts his hands up

Red: or hand rather

Emma: makes another comment about my entrance and landing on him

Red: what kind of comment?

Emma: a flirty one

Red: what did he say!?

Emma: there is not enough wine in this house, I am so not repeating it Red forget it

Emma: I told him he was caught and he said

Emma: "Well normally you bait the hook before you go fishing"

Emma: "But I'm already quite the catch aren't I love?"

Emma: Then he dove off the boat

Red: HAHAHAHAHA! Oh good god he's corny

Red: So he got away?

Emma: No - first I jumped in after him. he beat me to the shore by four fucking lengths and waved to me. Then he got away by sauntering off without a care

Emma: That man makes me homicidal

Red: So now ur home, drying ur clothes, getting ur buzz on and basically going "home alone" on ur apartment.

Emma: Pretty much

Red: I have 2 say, surprised I got this much of the story out of u

Emma: meh, I've had my fair share of wine now

Red: You 2 have the strangest way of flirting Emma. Ever

Emma: He's flirting - I'm fending him off

Red: Mmmhhmmmm

Emma: I am!

Red: Tell me ur not having the tinniest bit of fun

Emma: … don't judge me.

Red: lol Honey, never

Emma: bright side to his humiliating escape - I got his phone out of his pocket while we were grappling

Red: Omg did you really? Does it still work?

Emma: Oh yeah, I left mine and his on the boat when I jumped in after him

Emma: didn't have it long - it's mysteriously disappeared from my car when I left it to get said wine on my way home, lol

Red: Why r u laughing?

Emma: I turned his autocorrect back on

Red: LOL

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Sexypirate: Emma! Water hovel yoyo done?

Emma: lol, sorry what?

Sexypirate: You've tempura with my phone

Sexypirate: tempura

Sexypirate: Tempest!

Sexypirate: TREMOR!

Sexypirate: God Dalmation it!

Emma: Sorry are you having phone trouble? : D

Sexypirate: Swan whatever you've pterodactyl hoverboard I will frost ur nickers

Emma: LOL, oh god, stopicantbreathe!


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey everyone! - this chapter gave me more trouble then Hook gives Emma, lol. A few of you were wondering if Snow would make an appearance and I thought that was a great idea - this has two conversations going on a once - I hope it's not to confusing. Thank you all for the feed back, I swear - you guys are the best!**

Snow: Emma

Emma: Hey, whats up?

Snow: I went to go in your apartment today to pick up a few things I forgot for Charming's house and was mildly electrocuted when I grabbed the door knob

Snow: and by mild I mean I think my hair is smoking

Snow: Care to enlighten me as to what's going on?

Emma: shit, Snow I'm so sorry, I didn't know you were going to stop by

Snow: Who exactly _were_ you expecting to stop by?

Emma: Hook

Snow: He's been breaking into your apartment!?

Emma: It's a long story

Snow: Don't worry honey I'll take care of this

Snow: I think my Bow and arrows are at Charming's

Emma: hahaha - good one

Snow: Why are you laughing?

Emma: Oh god you're serious - Snow you can't go bow hunting for Killian

Emma: He's not in season

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Sexypirate: Swan - u've been a very bad girl - I promise I shall see 2 every _intimate_ detail of ur punishment personally 4 this

Emma: Speak of the devil, I see you've fixed your phone - pity

Sexypirate: I may even bend u over my knee

Emma: Ha! Try it I dare you

Sexypirate: Careful, I never turn down a dare

Emma: I dare you to go see Snow

Emma: She has an arrow with ur name on it

Sexypirate: Does she now? I'm flattered

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Snow: Has he tried to hurt you?

Emma: What? No - listen I'm texting him right now

Snow: He has your number?!

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Sexypirate: I'm still working on the first dare, the one where I wouldn't be unable to handle ur skills

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Emma: Yeah he managed to get a hold of it somehow

Snow: What in gods name does he text you about?

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Sexypirate: I think u underestimate how skilled my hand is love

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Emma: flirty innuendo mostly

Snow: … beg your pardon?

Emma: He say's he's trying to 'woo' me

Snow: … Homes to far, I'm stopping by granny's to borrow her crossbow

Emma: Snow, no

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Emma: Hook, go away

Sexypirate: It's cute how u think u can shoo me off

Emma: I think it's hilarious how you think you're the epitome of a charming flirt

Sexypirate: which is almost as funny as you pretending you don't want me

Emma: Omfg, you're deluded

Sexypirate: Surely u've not forgetten how u molested me the other day?

Emma: I fell on you, I did NOT molest you

Sexypirate: You tackled me, our limbs were ensnared together - there was writhing involved

Emma: THERE WAS NO WRITHING INVOLVED!

Sexypirate: I'm not entirely certain we parted with my honour intact 2 B honest

Sexypirate: Who will marry me now that u've had ur way with me?

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Emma: Snow I've changed my mind - go get the crossbow

Snow: Groin or knee caps?

Emma: Surprise me

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Emma: the things I'm going to do to you hook

Sexypirate: Another assault on my honour? Will ur lust never be satisfied!?

Emma: the only assault I'm interested in committing is where I get to drop an anchor on your head!

Sexypirate: the lady doth protest to much me thinks

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Emma: You're right, you got me, I want you hook - please take me now!

Snow: … Emma?

Emma: Oh God Snow, no! Nononononon - I was being Facetious!

Emma: I meant to text hook that!

Snow: To tell him you… wanted him

Emma: FACETIOUS, SARCASM!

Snow: U know I think I'll come by to get that stuff later

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Emma: I hate you, I hate you so much

Sexypirate: So u keep saying. Have a drink with me

Emma: No

Sexypirate: u should really have a drink with me

Emma: Why in gods name would I have a drink with a man who routinely breaks into my apartment and drives me insane?

Sexypirate: because he is also devilishly handsome and alluring?

Emma: He's really not

Sexypirate: Now that is just an outright lie Swan

Emma: Seriously hook, why won't you leave me alone?

Sexypirate: Swan, a man unwilling 2 fight 4 what he wants, deserves what he gets - from the moment you saw through me I knew u were worth fighting for and with. And So help me I fully intend 2.

Emma: … You are a pain in the ass

Sexypirate: Is that a yes?

Emma: It's a maybe

Sexypirate: would a maybe turn in2 a yes if I told u that u'd get ur little yellow car back if u came 4 drinks?

Emma: You stole my car!?

Emma: You bastard!

Sexypirate: How does 8 o'clock sound? :)


	5. Chapter 5

**I would like to thank my brilliant Friend Emily for helping me out with this chapter when I was hopelessly stuck with it - she's half the reason this is as hilarious as it is. Warning, lots of innuendo - but I think you can all handle it :D once again thanks for reading and leaving so many awesome comments - enjoy everybody!**

...

Sexypirate: Ur father punched me in the face today

Sexypirate: I thought he was suppose 2 B charming

Sexypirate: I was not charmed

Emma: Wow, he literally beat me to the punch

Sexypirate: I know its not unusual for u 2 threaten 2 murder me as you must channel ur unwilling desire of me somehow

Sexypirate: but u commandeered ur car from me last night and left me 2 nurse my rum alone

Sexypirate: Not that ur ever lonely with rum, but drinking alone doesn't suit a pirate

Sexypirate: The other pirates would make fun of me

Sexypirate: Should it not be I who is cross lass?

Emma: Never lonely with rum huh? - it showed

Emma: This morning. While you were following me - when I went to shop for new clothes

Emma: you know, because all my other clothes were ruined by your little knot tying episode

Emma: I'm sorry but this is low, even for you.

Sexypirate: I have no idea what ur talking about

Sexypirate: but if I did - I'd think that I happen 2 B exceptionally stealthy while creatively blending with my surroundings - were this 2 have happened at all

Emma: playing hide and go seek in a woman's clothing store while I'm shopping is not stealthy.

Sexypirate: So, you think I'm creative

Sexypirate: I'm flattered.

Emma: No! It was not creative or stealthy! The shop girl said you scared the shit out of some children

Sexypirate: if such a thing actually happened I'm not apologising, they stole my hiding spot

Emma: I know you were in the clothing rack trying to disguise your hook as a shirt hanger.

Sexypirate: Not me love

Emma: I actually smelt rum when I walked by, I literally saw you roll out into a rack of shirts when I started going through the hangers! You didn't even roll properly - you had to crawl the rest of the way.

Sexypirate: Speaking of racks urs are lovely from every angle

Emma: Wait a minute are you still drunk?

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Charming: Sw Hook 2day - gve hm my rght crss 4 u - lol

Emma: … David what the hell are you doing?

Charming: txtng

Charming: I sw hm 2day aftr wht u tld me about hm fllwng u and I set hm strght

Emma: David I can't understand you

Charming: wuld it kll u 2 cll me dad?

Emma: there were two words in that sentence and the rest is gibberish - what are you saying?

Charming: tht if i c hook neer u I wll beat teh lfe out of hm

Emma: For god sakes David, use some vowels!

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Sexypirate: u know what? ur right, I ruined ur clothing - y don't we settle this in trade?

Sexypirate: physical labour perhaps?

Sexypirate: I'm more than happy to sweat out my debt

Sexypirate: Thrust myself into any task you deemed an appropriate labour if u will

Sexypirate: With vigour

Emma: Omg, you are still drunk

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Charming: lsten, ur mother and I thnk u should sty with us

Emma: Sty with us? What does that mean!?

Charming: jst 4 a lttle bit!

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Sexypirate: I mean I'm _up _and_ ready_ 4 any task Emma

Emma: Really? I think your resolve is limp

Sexypirate: I assure you I'm bound and determined to please

Emma: Jesu- Shut up hook

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Charming: we jst thnk itd B safer, cause of hw hes brkng in2 ur aprtmnt - we don't wnt 2 tke chnces - he is cptn hook aftr all

Emma: David you're texting like a 14 year old girl

Charming: wut?

Emma: English! Type in English!

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Sexypirate: but I owe you Emma, a sincere _hard _effort

Emma: Killian I swear to god

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Charming: dis is englsh!

Emma: its text speak!

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Sexypirate: Blushing yet Swan?

Emma: You wish hook

Sexypirate: My wish is 2 merely press the point home that I want only 2 fulfill the need u have…

Sexypirate: of recompense

Emma: Don't test me cabin boy

Sexypirate: How can u tell how flexible a person is in these matters until u've test them?

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Charming: Me and snow think you should stay a few nights at our house

Emma: Was that so hard? Wait, what? No!

Emma: I'm not letting that pirate chase me out of the apartment!

Charming: Emma it'll just be till we figure out what to do about him

Charming: Unless you think we should kill him

Charming: Snow likes this idea for the record

Emma: I know what to do about him - I'm going to calmly and rationally detain him

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Emma: I will beat you with an inch of your life with your own arm

Emma: The one with your Hook on it

Sexypirate: Swan I think we should have angry sex

Emma: That's it! I'm coming to arrest your drunk ass right now!

...

**Ok survey time, I'm thinking about breaking from the text format for my last chapter ( not sure exactly when that's going to be, but it'll be soon) and ending it like I would a story - thoughts people? thanks again for reading!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Ok, this ones a bit shorter than usual - hope its still enjoyable. :) I appreciate all the feed back on the question from the last chapter as I will be closing this fic in the next chapter! You are all wonderful and thank you so, so, so much for reading and the wonderful comments you've left me, thank you!**

...

Sexypirate: I suggest u dress for the chase Swan

Sexypirate: some frilly negligee perhaps

Sexypirate: something that suits ur allure

Sexypirate: and that I can tear off ur body with ease

Emma: This is Henry

Sexypirate: … Well ur mother is going to be well and truly horrified then

Emma: What's negligee?

Emma: Why would you rip it off, wouldn't you ruin it?

Emma: Why is ur screen name Sexypirate?

Sexypirate: Why do u have ur mothers phone?

Sexypirate: Why am I laughing?

Sexypirate: Why god why?

Sexypirate: We all have questions 2day lad

Emma: is dis Captain hook?

Emma: _The_ Captain Hook?

Sexypirate: My notoriety proceeds me it seems

Emma: Do u have a ship?

Sexypirate: Captain hook lad, can't be captain if u don't have a ship

Emma: Have u met the lost boys?

Sexypirate: If by "met" you mean them sneaking into my cabin in the middle of the night and setting off a thousand alarm clocks then yes, I've met them.

Emma: Are you hot for my mom?

Sexypirate: swghdu2y

Emma: What was that?

Sexypirate: Sorry I was in the middle of drinking something, it shot an impressive distance out of my nose just now

Emma: So u r?

Sexypirate: almost as 'hot' as she is for me

Emma: Aren't you like 300 years older than her?

Sexypirate: Henry, where is Emma?

Emma: she's getting her sheriff stuff together to come arrest you

Emma: seriously dude - ur in trouble, I think she's got her gun.

Sexypirate: Lad, I'll let u in on a secret

Sexypirate: If ur not in trouble, ur not having fun

Sexypirate: And I'm always in trouble with ur mom

Emma: ur a pirate - she's the sheriff, of course ur always in trouble with her

Sexypirate: Touché

Emma: Do u like gold?

Sexypirate: The metal or the man?

Emma: Metal

Sexypirate: I've yet to meet a pirate that didn't

Emma: If I gave u some would u take me out on ur ship?

Sexypirate: I'm fairly certain ur mother would separate my head from my shoulders if I so much as tried 2 approach you

Sexypirate: That being said, how much gold r we discussing exactly?

Emma: HOOK!

Sexypirate: Ah, Swan, I see you've recovered the phone from young Henry

Emma: Why the hell are you talking to my son?

Sexypirate: Technically he was talking to me love

Emma: OH JESUS HENRY READ THIS?!

Emma: YOU SON OF A BITCH!

Sexypirate: I regret nothing

Emma: Oh dear merciful Christ someone kill me

Sexypirate: I'm afraid I won't allow that, I very much prefer you alive

Emma: How unlucky for you I don't share the same sentiment

Sexypirate: U know u want me

Emma: What is wrong with you!?

Sexypirate: In all fairness I was texting u

Sexypirate: U need to keep ur phone out of ur lads hands

Emma: You need to start running

Sexypirate: planning another assault on my honour r we?

Sexypirate: I welcome it ;)

Emma: I'm bringing a tazer

Sexypirate: A what?

Emma: It's a device that electrocutes you

Sexypirate: … kinky

Emma: Oh ha ha ha

Emma: I'm putting it on high

Sexypirate: Harsh swan.

...


	7. Chapter 7

**Ok I lied. Well not lied per-say so much as I gave in to you guys, lol. A lot of people really wanted at least 1 more chapter of texting goodness before I finish this little fic so I figured, what the heck, you guys are worth it :) hope it satisfies, thanks for the love everyone!**

...

Emma: where are you?

Sexypirate: how often does that trick work when ur hunting a suspect?

Emma: I'm offering to make this easy on you

Sexypirate: if I liked easy I wouldn't be a pirate

Sexypirate: Or wooing u

Sexypirate: sorry, love ur going 2 have 2 chase me like I chase u

Emma: don't say I didn't warned you

Sexypirate: Ooo, just got chills

Emma: I'm used to giving you chills love, cause I'm a sexy pirate

Emma: and no one can resist me and all my pet names

Sexypirate: … are u mocking me? : )

Emma: Also I rock guy-liner, no one can resist the guy-liner

Sexypirate: hahaha, 2 can play this game

Sexypirate: I pretend I'm not madly in lust with a certain pirate in town by threatening 2 murder him

Emma: My idea of wooing a woman is breaking and entering

Emma: In fact if Emma ever said breaking and entering to me, I'd smile suggestively cause you know - classy

Sexypirate: Oh that Hook! He's so crass, I must frown at him 2 make sure he knows I don't approve

Sexypirate: :(

Sexypirate: Oh good, I'm alone and can freely wonder y I dream of him at night *sigh*

Emma: Oh that Emma, she told me no - now like a five year old kid I must annoy her until she says yes - cause no one says no and _means_ it to Captain Hook *bluesteelstarepower!*

Sexypirate: If u replaced every time I said "hate you" with "want you" , u get a general idea of what honesty looks like on me

Emma: I'm the greatest flirt alive! I put Casanova to shame

Emma: don't even know who he is, but I'm better!

Sexypirate: I'm impervious 2 all flirting

Sexypirate: Go ahead, try - I'll pretend not 2 like it

Emma: I like to make sexy innuendo and can't take a hint

Sexypirate: I like 2 feel Hook up and pretend I'm trying 2 arrest him

Emma: I _WAS_ TRYING TO ARREST YOU!

Sexypirate: then u were multi-tasking something fierce

Sexypirate: not that I'm complaining of course

Emma: You are the most egotistical man alive

Sexypirate: Oh, have we quit role playing then?

Sexypirate: just a few notes then, when ur pretending 2 B me - mention how sexy I am more

Emma: Noted, I'll also try to be more annoying

Sexypirate: I'd say up the flirting 2, but I've seen u flirt

Sexypirate: no hope there

Emma: You've _never_ seen me flirt Hook

Sexypirate: Really? Do tell

Emma: Do you honestly expect me to fall for that?

Sexypirate: Afraid u might reveal urself love?

Emma: Nothing to reveal

Sexypirate: Prove it

Emma: I'm busy looking for you right now Hook

Emma: You know - trying to arrest you

Sexypirate: Excuses, excuses

Sexypirate: Come on Swan, u know u want 2

Sexypirate: If only 2 prove it 2 urself lass

Emma: Killian I don't flirt with words

Emma: I do it with my eyes when I look at a man I want

Emma: I beckon, with small touches and a whisper

Emma: the whisper you feel, that raises the hair on the back of your neck - that's how I flirt

Sexypirate: …

Sexypirate: Cheater

Emma: Come see me and maybe you'll find out what a whisper feels like

Sexypirate: …

Sexypirate: Very tempting - but I'm not falling for it

Emma: Stop hiding and get your ass out here Hook!

Sexypirate: Ah, there's the Emma I know

Emma: police brutality and all

Sexypirate: Going 2 threaten me with the tickler again are we?

Emma: It's a Tazer you jackass

Sexypirate: Oh Swan, with such sweet endearments how am I to resist u?

Emma: you know, I am going to find you Hook

Sexypirate: oh I'm counting on it

Emma: … what the hell does that mean?

Sexypirate: Oh nothing

Sexypirate: I love this picture of u and Snow btw, ur pretty when u smile

Sexypirate: That means "by the way" btw

Emma: I'm going to Pmfiya

Emma: That means "put my foot in your ass" btw

Sexypirate: Love it when u talk physical violence 2 me

Emma: Wait a minute… you're in my apartment

Emma: You're in my apartment _again_

Emma: Are you serious?!

Sexypirate: ur angry, I'll make some herbal tea 4 u

Sexypirate: Calm ur nerves a bit

Emma: It's going on your head Killian!

Sexypirate: I'll make it iced

...

**I had way to much fun with this chapter :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Ok, I keep saying I'm going to finish this story but I am weak willed, and after being tied of for awhile and unable to write (sorry about the wait!) I ended up with this, because until I get things out of my head, they sort of get in the way of what I want to write - so here it is, the extra extra chapter, lol. Sorry its short, hope you enjoy!**

...

Red: Hey Emma - how goes it?

Emma: Hook is in the back seat of the bug as we text

Red: Holy crap u got him?

Red: How the hell did u manage that?

Emma: Kind of a weird story Ruby

Red: Which means u have to tell it to me

Emma: He was in my apartment yelling at the gas stove

Red: What? Why?

Emma: Pretty sure he thought it was a demon

Red: LOL, details!

Emma: I think his idea was to make a cup of tea and leave it behind as a cheeky little salute in his absence

Emma: Instead he lit three of my new dish rags on fire, and when I came in he was yelling curses at the stove as it spewed flames - my house smells like burnt tea

Emma: I didn't even know you could burn tea

Red: How did ur apartment fair?

Emma: Well nothing else was on fire, so not too bad

Emma: Anyways I tackled him - tied his hand and stump together before turning it off and throwing the rags in the sink

Red: … u tied his hands together?

Emma: well cuffs won't work - he's only got one hand

Red: … ok, I'm just going to go with that excuse

Red: Been mouthing off like a good little pirate?

Emma: Nope

Red: … really?

Emma: I told him if he said a word I'd shoot him

Red: Ah

Emma: So he took to singing to annoy me

Red: Hahaha! What'd he singing?

Emma: "what should you do with a drunken sailor?"

Emma: Except he replaced the "drunken" with "sexy"

Emma: also he was singing his suggestions

Red: … Marry that man

Emma: Ruby, no. Just no.

Red: He still singing?

Emma: no, I took care of it

Red: Sorry, took care of it how?

Emma: I duct taped his mouth shut

Red: Wow… nope, can't ignore that

Red: You're getting kinky

Emma: and I'm enjoying the silence _immensely, _pretty sure he was cursing at me a minute ago but I can't make anything out

Emma: wait, what!?

_Red calling_

_Emma - _"Hello?"

_Red - _"Honey - you have Captain Hook tied up in the back seat of your car with his mouth duct taped shut - remind me who the pirate is again?"

_Emma - _"I can't talk right now Ruby" *mpgpmphhh*

_Red - _"What was that? Was that Hook?"

_Emma - _*Sigh* "Yes"

_Red - _"What are you doing to him?"

_Emma - _"Nothing! I'm driving - he's doing it to himself!"

_Red - _"…"

_Emma - _"…"

_Red - _"Well that was un-intentionally smutty"

_Emma - _*Muffled laughter* "Shut up Hook! Oh great, he's giving me smouldering eyes in the rear view mirror now"

_Red - _"maybe you should un-gag him, he's just going to find new ways to annoy you"

_Emma - _"No, I warned him three times what would happen - this is his punishment. Stop it"

_Red - _"I'm not doing anything"

_Emma - _"Not you, him. He's making innuendo"

_Red - _"… his mouth is duct taped shut Emma"

_Emma - _"I can see it on his face! He has innuendo face!"

_Red - _*laughing*

_Emma - _"Not helping Ruby"

_Red - _"I'll call you later, you know, when you're less prone to crashing your car in a rage"

_Emma - _"Sounds good. I said stop it Killian!"

_End call_

_..._

**I know, not much of our sexy pirate in this one but there's lots of him in the next chapter! And yes, I fully intend to end this next chapter - I have most of it written out - it just needs some tweeking and finishing touches. Much luvs to everyone reading, I've said it before and I'll say it again - you guys are the best! :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Ok - here it is. I was really nervous about posting this chapter as its the last and i wanted it to be really good for you guys, also most of you agrees the last chapter should be story format so that was a bit nerve racking, I know it's long and I'm sorry. But no time for second thoughts now! here we go! **

...

Snow: Emma?

Emma: Busy

Snow: did you get him?

Emma: driving

Snow: quick yes or no?

Emma: Tempting possible car crash Snow

Snow: Yes or no would have been easier to text

Snow: Your father thinks we should drop by the station for moral support

Emma: No

Emma: Please no

Snow: Why not?

Emma: I can hardly keep myself from killing Hook, can't try to keep David and you off him too

Snow: Alright, fine - we'll see you tonight

Emma: Sure thing

* * *

Emma put her phone in her pocket and sighed, rubbing her eyes.

Hook sat silently behind her, looking all together way to pleased for someone who was tied up and gagged in the back seat of a car. Emma looked at him via her rear view mirror and narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

"You're up to something" she said.

His expression changed, managing to convey a sincere innocence before he fluttered his eyelashes mockingly at her with laughing eyes, she could almost hear him say _who, me?_

"Yeah you" she said, smothering a smile by instead focusing on undoing her seat belt and getting out of the car.

How he could go from making her want to strangle him to making her want to laugh then make her unwillingly blush before going right back to making her want to choke him was a mystery to her.

She pulled her seat forward and reached in to help Hook out.

"Luck for you I'm past the point of carinwhooa!"

Hook seemed to misstep and fell against her as he tumbled out of the car and she practically had to catch him to hold him up. After some odd grappling in an attempt to keep him from hitting the pavement (in which there was WAY to much physical contact on Hook's part, thank god she already relived him of his hook) she stood him up right and glared at him

Hook's response was of course to wink.

Emma reached up and ripped the tape from his lips in one motion with a loud tearing sound

"Ow! Bloody hell woman!" he cried indignantly as she wrapped her fingers around the crook of his elbow and began tugging him none too gently into the station.

"Has anyone ever told you that you are terribly violent?" he asked, following without resistance as they entered the building. "I was in a fairly less violent mood till you set my apartment on fire" Emma retorted.

"First off, your apartment was not on fire, a few rags were smoking" Hook corrected as Emma turned a corner into her office which was combined with the local two holding cells.

Holding cells - she was almost home free.

"Secondly - I was unaware that you'd bewitch your kitchen with a demon to protect it" He continued.

"It wasn't a demon it was a gas stove, seriously you can work a phone but a stove turns you into a Neanderthal?" Emma mocked, rolling her eyes.

"The cell phone doesn't spit fire like a dragon - that thing was at the very least possessed" he argued defensively while she reached into his pockets.

"Oooo, I love it when you get grabby with me" Hook teased in a husky voice.

Emma ignored him and pulled out what she was looking for - his phone.

"My god, how many times a day do you drop this thing?" Emma asked, seeing all the dents and scratches in the poor thing. "One hand, one hook - it's a juggling act" he shrugged as she put the phone on her desk and picked up the ring with the clunky looking key to the cell door. She paused a second and looked at him.

"Wait, you weren't burnt were you?" she asked, eyes searching him for charred sleeves.

She felt strangely guilty - she should have made sure of that immediately, but in all fairness he'd seemed fine.

Hook watched her eyes rove over him and smiled.

"Genuine concern love? I'm touched - if I say yes will you," he leaned forward rather unexpectedly "kiss it better?" he whispered against her mouth.

Emma froze, heart suddenly pumping so loud in her ears she couldn't think. It was a short pause before she put her hand on his chest, pushed him back giving an exasperated sigh. Judging by the look she saw in his eye though, she figured that short pause had been far to carefully noted.

"In your dreams Hook"

"You've no idea what I dream of Swan."

How did he always manage to make innocent words sound obscene?

"And like that I'm done with this conversation" she smiled sweetly, putting her hand on his shoulder and steering him to the cell door, his hand gently touching her back.

Wait a minute - his hand?

Emma looked down to see the rope on the floor and her eyes widened with realization.

"Afraid we're only getting started sweet heart" Hook whispered back.

He shoved her so she went stumbling through the cell door, her hands connecting with the concrete wall just to stop her face from kissing it.

She turned around to see Hook closing the cell door behind him and locking it with her key - how the hell had he gotten her key!? She looked down at her ring of keys and sure enough the one for the cell was missing. The she watched as he dropped the key down his shirt. He'd locked them both in.

"How'd, what-" Emma stuttered

"I told you once love," Hook smirked "You underestimate how skilled my one hand is" he said, holding said hand up and wiggling his fingers.

Oh she was going to kill him.

She reached into her pocket - she was calling Snow, she'd probably bring her arrows when she came to get her out without her asking.

But when she reached into her pocket to grab it she found it empty.

Hook cleared his throat drawing her eye back up to him as he held her phone, like he'd conjured it from the air. "Looking for this?" he asked deviously.

Emma flashed back to him falling against her as he tried to get out of the car.

_That sonuva-_

She didn't even get a full step towards him before he tossed it through the bars - sending it skittering across the floor and out of reach.

"I was thinking we could upgrade our relationship from texting to talking" he told her, leaning against the bars with a wicked smile.

For a second all she could do was gape at him - and then it all came together.

_You know, I am going to find you Hook_

_Oh I'm counting on it _

"You planned all this - even being caught in my apartment" she said, not bothering to make it a question.

He gave a non-committal shrug with small nod of his head "I may have thought this out before hand" he acknowledged. Emma took a deep breath, held it for a second and let it out; then she walked over to the cot and started to take off her watch. "What are you doing?" Hook asked, catching sight of a very small, borderline coy smile on her face.

"What I should have done the minute you winked and smiled your way into Storybrooke Hook" she said, taking off one of her rings and putting both pieces on the cot.

"Really?" Hook said, watching her shrug out of her jacket and place that down on the little bed as well.

Emma turned to face him at last and Hook felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end when his eyes met hers.

"Yeah," she said, sauntering towards him. Hook watched her approach slowly, hands at her side until she was very nearly pressed against him. "About time love" he said

as Emma stroked a finger down his chest. She leaned in slowly, going on her tippy toes and her face inching closer and closer to his. Hook's eyes fixed on her lips as she whispered something so softly it was almost a sigh.

"I'm going to kick your ass"

Suddenly Emma's teasing hand grabbed a fistful of his shirt as her right hand started a collision course with his jaw.

His hand came up just in time to grab her fist seconds before she connected. "Well, saw that coming" Hook smirked, just before yelping in pain as Emma kicked him in the shin, causing him to release her and for her to put some distance between them.

"Oh, that was naughty Swan" he chuckled through the throbbing pain in his shin, watching her square off.

He stood himself straighter in response, a devilish grin plastered on his face. "I'm not afraid to get rough with you love" he warned her.

"If that's suppose to earn you brownie points Hook, it so not working" she told him.

She threw some weight into the punch this time. Hook eyes flared open with surprise as he barely managed to dodge it, side stepping out of the way at the last second. He grabbed her wrist and hit the inside of her elbow with the stump of his left wrist, collapsing her arm with a dull stab of pain. The move was dance like as he pulled, taking her off balance so that she had to step forward while he stepped in, pinning the arm by wrapping it around her and trapping her hand on the opposite hip.

His other arm snaked around her waist and pulled her so her back was pressed against his chest, leaving her unable to move.

"Is this a dance Swan?" Hook murmured into her ear, sending shivers down her spine.

"Only dance I know is the two step" she hissed back, stomping her foot down on his.

Or where it would have been had he not released her waist and stepped back a second before she did.

As soon as he stepped back Emma tried to give him a quick jab with her elbow. He dodged under her arm, letting her one hand go to snag her under her other arm and using his foot to nudge her ankle, forcing her to grab him to stay upright at a precarious angle while he kept her balanced.

"I could teach you a few other steps" He said, waggling his eyebrows, not noticing she was already slowly sliding her leg back to give her more purchase.

"Figures you'd be all foot work, huh Hook?" she answered cheekily

"Coming from a girl who's all hands" he said, looking pointedly down at her hand with a raised eyebrow. Emma followed his gaze to see the hand she was using to keep herself from hitting the ground had found it's firm purchase on his behind.

She let go of him like she was touching something hot (oh god she did NOT just think that) which forced Hook to take more weight.

He staggered as he tried to keep her upright, taken off guard by the move as he attempted to compensate, putting him off kilter.

Emma put the last of her weight on the foot she'd slid behind her before giving Hook a love tap. With her fist. To his stomach.

Hook grunted, pulling her up right and twirling her away from him.

"Getting a fair idea of why chivalry is dead in this world Swan" he quipped, hand on his stomach.

Emma found her balance with a smirk in his direction. Hook seemed to take this as invitation and made towards her. She kicked her leg out, aiming between his legs.

He caught her ankle one handed, holding it so she was hopping on one foot.

"Fighting dirty Swan?"

"Reckoned pirates would be used to that" Emma replied, trying to yank her foot back and almost falling.

"True, but aiming for the boys turns this personal I'm afraid" he grinned back.

Hook twisted her foot and pulled towards him causing her to lose her balance. As Emma spun towards the floor she braced herself for impact. Hook swiftly turned with her fall and manoeuvred behind her, catching her in a dip, their faces inches apart.

"Another quaint blush for me?" he asked softly.

Emma opened her mouth hoping a reflexive witty retort would fall from her lips, but as soon as her eyes met the ice blue of his so close to hers no sound came out. It was very suddenly hard to breathe, a breath alone seemed like all it would take to pull them together from across that last painful inch that separated them.

She was stunned to see that he looked caught off guard as well, like he was just as surprised by the sudden unexpected intimacy of the moment, his arms wrapped around her, holding her.

It was quiet, never had Emma noticed the quiet so much nor how loud her heart was beating in her ears, like they were both in a vacuum with only each other.

Then they both seemed to breathe in at the same time and that painful inch disappeared.

It was gentle at first, but it was like she was kerosene and his lips had been the match - gentle disappeared like a dream as the flames spread through them both. Her whole body was on fire as her hand reached up to twine itself in his hair and bring him closer of its own accord, like she was trying to drink even more of him in. He tasted like rum and the after taste of something sweet, his lips like embers. Hook's arms tightened around her, the feel of her mouth on his made him drunk with the aftertaste of vanilla. Her eyes closed, giving way completely to the fierceness of his kiss.

"… Is this a bad time?" a voice asked.

Emma's eyes shot wide open as she tore herself away from the kiss so fast it startled Hook into dropping her to the floor with a loud thud and a comical 'oof' from Emma.

She turned her head to look from her position on the floor to see the owner of the voice, standing there looking wide eyed at the scene before her.

"Very bad time" Hook hissed at the intruder.

"Ruby?!" Emma gasped.

She stood there, holding a brown paper bag of what smelt like Granny's famous lasagne.

The shock was still plain on her face as she blinked, opening her mouth before closing it again.

"Ok, I'm just going to ask - what the hell am I looking at?" she asked finally, the bizarre scene of Emma in a holding cell with Hook making out burned in her mind.

"A victory?" Hook tried smugly.

"Oh dear god" Emma said, suddenly horrified. She'd kissed him - not just kissed, but passionately made out, her heart was still racing. She'd temporarily lost her damn mind and Ruby had been witness. She scrambled to her feet and pressed herself into the bars.

"He locked us in here there was fighting he took my phone" Emma tried, stumbling over her words as she rushed to explain.

Ruby looked down and saw Emma's phone by her feet before looking up to narrow her eyes at Hook. Hook glared back, like she was the adult about to take his favourite toy from him.

"I see" she said.

"There's an extra key in my desk drawer, get me out of here please" Emma said, reaching between the bars to point at the desk as if Ruby wouldn't be sure which one.

She had to get out of this cell - right now.

And very, very far away from Killian, possibly to find a mental health professional.

"Don't listen to her - she's drunk!" Hook said over Emma's shoulder as Ruby made her way over to the desk. Emma hit him in the chest with her elbow knocking some of the air out of him in a groan.

Ruby was just about to open the drawer and get the key when she froze.

She looked up at Emma and seemed to examine her, like a thought had just occurred to her. "Ruby?" Emma said, tone questioning.

"You kissed him back" she said to Emma, who could almost see the wheels in Ruby's head spinning.

And then a small mischievous smile curled Ruby's lips. Oh dear god.

"Ruby" Emma said, tone a warning.

"… I think you two need to work this out" Ruby said.

Hook, who had backed away to sulk against a wall suddenly perked up.

"Don't you dare" Emma said

"No, you dare sweet heart" Hook countered.

"Oh, my phone seems to be ringing" Ruby said, grabbing the silent phone from her pocket.

"It is _not_ ringing!" Emma snapped.

"It would appear it is" Hook said nodding in agreement with an impish grin.

"Would you look at that? Granny needs me back ASAP" Ruby said with a sigh.

"Was hoping we could have lunch" she said, "Oh well, I'll be back in an hour"

"Ruby, RUBY!" Emma shouted after her as she disappeared into the hall.

It was no use - she was gone.

"Traitor!" Emma shouted

"I like her" Hook said beaming, reaching over and pulling Emma back against him.

"Now where were we?" He asked his hand travelling down her back, lower and lower…

She cold clocked him. Just pulled back her fist and let him have it - knee jerk reaction.

He stumbled back and hit the cot, collapsing bonelessly while Emma swore as she cradled her hand.

"About there I think" she said through grit teeth.

He lay on the cot face down, it took her a few seconds of him not being a smart ass or moving to realize she may have just knocked him out cold.

"Goddamnit" Emma sighed, staring at the ceiling for a moment as if to say _Why god? Just why?_ She walked over to the cot

"Hook" she huffed.

He didn't respond - oh crap how hard had she hit him? "Hook wake up" she ordered gruffly.

Nothing. She sat on the edge of the cot and gently shook him, his face obscured by blankets.

"Killian you ok?" she asked, letting a hint of worry seep into her voice.

Still no reaction from him. "Shit, Killian say something" she said shaking him harder.

She tried to roll him over so he didn't smother himself just by being face down. As she go him on his side his eyes flew open and his mouth curled into a smirk.

He moved like lightning when he grabbed her - she found herself very suddenly pinned underneath him, one hand above her head and the other trapped behind her back.

"You've got your father's right hook love" Hook said opening his mouth as if to pop his jaw back in place.

"You sonuva-" Emma struggled to get free but he had her well and truly trapped.

"Yeah, that's not gonna work" he told her smugly.

"I thought you were really hurt you prick" she told him angrily

His smirk turned into a rather genuine smile then

"I know, it was kind of enduring"

"Let me up" she growled.

"Not happening" he said "You've earned yourself a time out lass"

She tried to wiggle out of his grasp again but he used every inch he had on her to keep her where she was under him - at one point it was making her brain go to places it should NOT be wandering so she finally stopped, breathing hard.

"Done?" he asked after a moment of silence.

She merely glared at him.

"Good - now we chat" he said "or rather I chat - you can just listen"

Emma stared defiantly into those blue eyes of his, waiting for the innuendo.

"I'm going to be honest love, I could do this with you forever" he said, his voice becoming unexpectedly smoky. "I could dance this dance a thousand times with you and I'd still be just as eager for the next song to start" he continued.

"Pretend all you want Swan - I know you feel the same" he told her softly. Emma was dumbstruck - she couldn't have spoken even if she tried, what would she have said? What could she have said to that?

"If what happened a minute ago didn't prove it nothing ever will" he said with a shake of his head. "So not matter how much you deny it, run from it or fight with me… I'll be your dance partner Emma Swan - always" he kissed her on the forehead and before she could react he'd rolled off her and the bed, leaving her off balance in every sense of the word.

It was only when she heard the cell door open and close that she thought to sit up - seeing Hook was now on the opposite side of the door.

"What the hell are you doing!?" she demanded standing and going to the door just as he locked it and took a step out of reach.

"Told you Swan - you've earned yourself a time out" he told her as he walked towards her desk and placed the key down. "The lovely Ruby will be along to let you out shortly" he assured her, picking his phone up and slipping it into his pocket.

He took an elegant bow, peering up at her with his trade mark eye flirting.

"Until the next song love" he said with a wink, turning and walking away.

"Hook get back here!"

"Don't worry, I can get my hook from your glove compartment myself" he called over his shoulder.

"Stay out of my car you asshat!"

He of course gave no indication he heard her as he strolled out of sight.

She sighed before she went and sat down, leaning against the wall on the opposite side of the cell, holding her wrist, brow pinched together in a pensive look as she waited for Ruby to come back so she could let her out and then kill her of course. How could he go from being sincere to being a bastard to being enthralling in the span of three minutes?

"You're going to be the ruin of me Killian" she said aloud to herself "I know it."

...

**Thank you all so much for reading and commenting - your support made this ride even more fun then I'd imagined it would be! Thanks again to Emily for helping me out and giving me advice and for the hilarious idea's and scenes - it been great everyone!**


	10. Bonus!

**Hello everyone! this little 'never suppose to happen' chapter is the Bonus epilogue! It just sort of happened when I was trying to write something else and I figured after trying to stay on track and fight it, I'd go with the random instead and see where the characters took me. I'm nervous about posting this but I think it's a good little last nod to the story I had so much fun with. Enjoy!**

...

Snow: Hello Hook

Sexypirate: Ms. White… how did u get my number?

Snow: I took the liberty of lifting it from Emma's phone - I saw you two having coffee the other day

Sexypirate: I C - it was a consensual coffee date

Snow: Oh I know, if it wasn't we wouldn't be texting

Snow: We'd be talking in person

Sexypirate: … I would not enjoy this talk would I?

Snow: No you would not

Snow: a few weeks have passed since the holding cell incident. Emma seems past it, I'm willing move past it as well

Sexypirate: Glad 2 hear it

Snow: It seems you wore her down

Sexypirate: Wore her down sounds so tiring - I prefer to think she gave in2 my charm

Snow: It was a coffee date Hook, don't flatter yourself

Sexypirate: I'm srry, what is it exactly u wished 2 discuss?

Snow: I wish for us to have a special understanding

Snow: No miscommunication's about anything if you will

Sexypirate: Oh I know what this is, ur going 2 lay out how this courting will work

Snow: You're very perceptive

Sexypirate: Alright, have at it sweet heart

Sexypirate: Tell the pirate how it's going 2 B, lay down those rules ; )

Sexypirate: Home before midnight?

Sexypirate: Door always open?

Sexypirate: U should know I fancy myself something of an exhibitionist milady ;D

Snow: Rules? Oh no, Emma's a big girl now - I don't need to give you rules, Though I'm sure Charming will try

Snow: I just wanted you to know something really

Sexypirate: And that would B?

Snow: That if you ever hurt my daughter I'll hunt you down, make balloon animals out of your intestines and give them to Henry

Sexypirate: …

* * *

Sexypirate: Swan ur mother is scaring me

Emma: What? Why?

Sexypirate: She saw us having coffee

Emma: So?

Sexypirate: Seems a tad irate with me 4 wishing 2 court u

Emma: Seriously? Christ it was coffee why is everyone acting like I made out with you in public?

Sexypirate: I'm sure we'll get there ;)

Emma: haha, no - no we will not.

Emma: how did she get your number?

Sexypirate: Stole it from u apparently, also she just threatened me with a gruesome demise - sure she never did a stint as a pirate?

Emma: What did she say?

Sexypirate: That if I broke ur heart she'd make balloon animals out of my intestines.

Emma: … holy shit

Sexypirate: Ur mother has a gift for vivid imagery

Emma: Hook I know what you're thinking - do NOT bait her

Sexypirate: Of course not love

* * *

Sexypirate: What kind of balloon animals?

Snow: hahaha, you're funny

Snow: Almost as funny as the look on your face when I find you

Snow: : )

Sexypirate: Clearly Emma gets her murderous nature from ur side of the family

Snow: Are we clear or not Hook - I'm more than happy to have this conversation in person

Sexypirate: … I'm good on that front

Snow: So yes?

Sexypirate: I love ur daughter. R we clear on that?

* * *

Sexypirate: Ruby

Red: … is this Hook?

Sexypirate: I just told Snow I loved Emma

Red: Wow. Ballsy dude.

Red: Wait when the hell did u get my number?

Sexypirate: never mind that now, I don't usually ask this question but - have I gone 2 far?

Red: lol, ur kidding right?

Red: Hook she's probably gonna ask me 2 wolf out and eat u

Sexypirate: is that a yes?

* * *

Emma: Snow!

Snow: Emma, how are you honey?

Emma: Stop threatening Hook

Snow: I'm not threatening him!

Snow: … I'm explaining the nature of fate to him

Emma: It was coffee for god sakes, everyone needs to chill

Snow: He's a pirate Emma, I worry!

Emma: I know you do but come on - balloon animals!?

Snow: I was trying to drive the point home!

* * *

Snow: You never struck me as a tattle tail Hook

Sexypirate: I've no idea what that is but I'm choosing 2 B insulted

* * *

Emma: It was coffee, we're just agreeing to be civil

Emma: You know, before we kill each other

Snow: Dear lord Emma, are you blind?

Emma: What?

Snow: You like him! You like him a lot!

Snow: And don't you dare type back a denial young lady!

Snow: I just… I don't want to see you get your heart broken

Emma: Wow… that is kind of the sweetest, most motherly thing anyone has ever said to me

Snow: Of course - I _am_ your mother silly

Emma: Please stop threatening Hooks life?

Snow: … I'm not making promises

* * *

Emma: What on earth did you say to her to rile her up so much?

Sexypirate: Not sure ur ready 2 hear it Swan

Emma: *sigh* Good night Hook

Sexypirate: Good nite love

* * *

Snow: … do you really love my daughter?

Snow: Lie to me at your own peril

Sexypirate: Yes I do

Snow: … I'm watching you

Sexypirate: Well, most women do milady, especially when I walk away ;)

* * *

Snow: Red would you be willing to possibly wolf out and eat Hook for me?

Red: HA! Called it

...

**Hope it wasn't too OOC. *clears throat* I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU FINISHED! lol - have a great one guys!**


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